So there I am, sitting at my desk, a little hung over as is usual during daylight hours, dreaming of tasering some vegans who are on the radio, when I decide to check the comments section of our websites. Sure enough, there are a handful of user reviews in there, including several by a bloke called ‘Tizer’. I click into the first one and quickly realise we are onto a winner here:
‘Been there a few times but not for many months now. Best ever punt there last year with a large Scottish lady. £10 at the door. Full works upstairs for 50 quid.’
Reading on, Tizer has provided us with six thoughtfully-written accounts of his dealings in knocking shops up and down the country. Much of it is a little X-rated for this particular platform, but gentler highlights include:
‘Had a blonde Italian – sexy from afar but a little bit haggard looking up close.’
‘The name ‘Heavenly Bodies’ takes a few liberties with the trade descriptions act and I’d probably give it a miss if the angelic Suzanne isn’t on duty.’
‘Found an Italian girl, cant remember name, and had my way with her for 80 quid. A good experience.’
Brilliant. ‘A good experience’. That’s what people say about watching the sunset off Santorini or a track day at Silverstone. His memory for price information is excellent too. One review informs the reader that ‘Cheapest useful sex is £100’.
For some reason the lechers really like sharing their experiences. I had an email a little while back from a lady called Lisa in Birmingham, who was a little distressed to find that under the review of her sauna (which was apparently an actual health spa as opposed to a brothel), a gentleman called Will from Middlesborough had remarked ‘Hardcore. Good range of toys, and the girls are excellent – very dirty indeed!’ One can only hope he was referring to a different establishment, or else Lisa’s staff are playing a devious game.
The whole industry’s mad on user generated content at the moment, and people who know better than me have been on at me for months to try and feature it more prominently. Perhaps I should stick some of Tizer’s reviews on the home page.