Being unemployed has its downsides, but it does mean that you’re available for unusual experiences that someone in a nine-to-five would have to turn down.

I got hitched the other day. To my old mate M, for the purposes of a photoshoot. The ceremony was officiated by a professional photographer and a PR girl, with no guests otherwise in attendance, and the action centred around a grand staircase in one of our country’s great cultural institutions. At one point I was scolded by an elderly academic for placing my hat at a rakish angle on a bust of a distinguished former politician.

M is aware that her trophy husband’s prospects aren’t great, but fortunately she has a long-term boyfriend with a more respectable career, who very kindly lent me his morning dress for the ceremony. We are very modern.