Bruised knuckles
Wednesday is our inaugural office conker championships. Since I possess a vice and a drill, I have volunteered to prepare them for stringing, so today grown adults have been turning…
Rather awful nonsense
This morning I discovered this quote from Edward Gorey, and I rather like it. Presumably he was attempting to justify The Gashlycrumb Tinies, a book about dead children that works…
Neighbourhood watch
I have a feeling that the girl in flat 3, while pleasant enough, is not one of life’s survivors, or at least has a nervous temperament that is rather unsuited…
Always room to sit down
The other night, due to a combination of a train delay and a lack of spare house keys that is far too boring to go into, I found myself with…
Downstairs meeting room
This morning I was sitting in an interminable meeting. My ‘notes’ from this meeting are now taped to the corner of my computer screen.
Further correspondence with National Express
A couple of weeks ago I sat down with a bottle of wine and drafted this measured response to a run-in with a ticket inspector that same morning. A reply,…
A topography of minor injury
Despite other calamities, I have never been badly injured. I have never broken a bone, nor been cut deeply enough to require more than a bit of superglue, a steri-strip…
Dear National Express
Dear National Express, I am writing to ask you to remove the tracking device which you have concealed somewhere about my person. On weekday mornings, when I arrive on the…
The kingdom of the leopardskin lady
This was on Facebook, but I never put it up on my blog proper, largely because of the hazards of search engines. However, I’ve removed some of the more exact…
Dear Pricilia
I just found this old reply that I once sent in response to an email I received at work. Oddly enough they never got back to me. Dear Pricilia, Really…
