Miles per gallon

‘Trouble with taking this car out,’ declared a large man with a strong West Yorkshire accent, ‘is that it’s an hour on the road and two hours to clean.’ I…

The tough life

I have just returned from a week in the jasmine-scented surroundings of Fornells Bay, Minorca, with most activity revolving around the sea. I spent my days wobbling and scudding across…

Tit for tat

Christian, my brother, is currently working as an artist-in-residence at a small boarding school in Essex. He lives an implausible existence in a flat above the boys’ boarding house, sparingly…

The King of the High Chaparral

Shuffling brushes like a clenched mikado, mixing the ingredients for paint; earth and iris, and horse-piss, spring water, whiskey, potash and salt, pestled stamens like virgin’s sleep, and arsenic for…

Before they end up on a piece of string

Has anyone else been enjoying the sight of horse chestnut trees in full flower lately? A few years ago, during a period of unemployment, I volunteered for about five months…

No sleeves and a cuckoo clock

One of my favourite items of clothing in this soggy but not particularly cold weather is a leather jerkin of the sort that British soldiers used to favour during the…

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